“The last of the human freedoms— to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

— Victor Frankl

Choose your own way

Victor Frankl’s confinement in a Nazi prison camp qualifies him to make the above statement.

He discovered that while others around us may be able to control our immediate environment, including the conditions we encounter, they cannot control our attitude.

The ability to control our experience in life takes on a new depth and meaning when we come to the realization that the only thing we really have even a modicum of control over is our own mind. What happens in our mind determines if we shall react or respond to that which is set before us at any given moment.

This is a reality that touches every area of our lives. An attachment to needing to control our every circumstance is a recipe for suffering.

As an example, from time to time, as I work with couples for whom I am asked to perform a wedding ceremony, I see major league disappointment and frustration pending as their wedding day nears.

When the bride-to-be pulls out her three-page agenda, outlining exactly the way it is supposed to be—down to the minute that they kiss—she is putting her peace, tranquility and joy in the hands of other people and circumstances that are beyond her control.

Invariably, the flowers or the musicians are late, sweet little ring bearers sometimes lose diamond rings in the grass, a bridesmaid (or a groom) passes out, it rains, a baby cries, an airplane does a 100-foot flyby towing a “Drink Budweiser” banner, a bee lands on the best man’s head, the bride perspires so badly her makeup runs, and so on.

The illusion is that we have control over much; the reality is we have control over little more than our next thought, which dictates how we will choose to experience the moment at hand.

While we don’t always have the ability to change or control other people and events, we can absolutely choose to change our thoughts about people and events.

In a very powerful way, this puts us in charge of our life in every holy instant. You will be choosing your own way. That is a powerful place to be in consciousness.

As a mindfulness practice make a decision today to fine-tune your awareness that while you may not be able to control the behavior of those around you, the weather or certain events and conditions, you have absolute control over how you choose to experience them.

Your attachment to that over which you have no control will make you suffer. Let go—let God. Now breathe and simply be.

Dennis Merritt Jones is a local spiritual mentor, keynote speaker and author of the book “The Art of Being: 101 Ways to Practice Purpose in Your Life.” The above is an excerpt from the book used by permission of Tarcher/Penguin Publishers. Contact Jones at www.DennisMerrittJones.com.