2010-07-29 / Dining & Entertainment

“Salt”

Does the world need yet another kick-ass, hard-as-nails, Angelina Jolie action flick?

Yes, please.

It was just about a decade ago that “Lara Croft: Tomb Raider” made Jolie the ultimate superbabe for a legion of Sega-addicted adolescent boys. Subsequent films like “Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow,” “Mr. & Mrs. Smith” and “Wanted” kept her on the top of that particular demographic pedestal. Marrying Brad Pitt probably didn’t hurt either.

To be fair, Jolie took on admirable dramatic roles in films like “Girl, Interrupted” (for which she won an Oscar), “A Mighty Heart” and “Changeling.” Angelina Jolie—take away the relentless tabloid fodder and intrusive “Brangelina” insanity—is a firstclass actor. I suspect her best is yet to come.

But in the here and now, it’s okay to occasionally save the world from nuclear-weapon-craving terrorists. This, Jolie seems to do quite well, without breaking a sweat.

For the record, I liked her feisty performances in “Mr. & Mrs. Smith” and “Sky Captain” and nine-tenths of “Wanted.” And I’ll admit that I didn’t really notice her in the “serious actor” category until 2007’s “A Mighty Heart.” Playing slain journalist Daniel Pearl’s anguished wife, she turned a potentially oversentimentalized melodramatic mess into a poignant, tempered and ultimately triumphant dramatic work.

In “Salt,” she plays CIA agent Evelyn Salt, and if you think Jolie played it tough in “Wanted,” she was just warming up. “Salt” is pretty much relentless nonstop action, kind of like 2007’s “Shoot ’Em Up”—but with a plot.

Evelyn Salt, you see, may or may not be a Soviet mole. (It probably didn’t hurt the film that a half-dozen Russian spies were recently unearthed in suburban America and were sent packing to Moscow. Film execs can’t buy that kind of publicity.)

But in Salt’s case, people begin to die. (Many, many folks will drop before the show’s over.) It seems that Salt may indeed be a double agent. . . .

What I like about “Salt” is, yeah, there’s a credible underlying plot. That being said, the frenetic jolt with which the film takes off utterly supersedes any credibility— so I suggest viewing the film in the same manner one climbs aboard Knott’s Berry Farm’s Boomerang. You’re not doing so for the intellectual stimulation; you’re here for the adrenaline rush, screaming and squirming all the way.

“Salt” is 100 percent screaming wiggler. Watching the 90- pound (my wife says 100-pound) Salt barehandedly thrash a gaggle of bearish U.S. and Russian henchmen is delightfully absurd, and, frankly, most of the maneuvers she attempts with spur-ofthe moment necessity would, in reality, result in ruptured spleens and fractured skulls. So, yeah, when you sit down in the dark with your Icee, you’re only here for the thrill of the ride.

And no, I shan’t divulge if Jolie is a mole, or a double mole, or a triple-axel mole or simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. But, yeah, when the smoke clears, it all sorta makes sense.

Oh, and there’s also room for a “Salt” sequel—“Pepper”?— and I shall take this opportunity (no offense to Ms. Jolie) to express my frustration toward films that should end with a bang but instead go out with a “but wait, there’s more!” whimper. I mean, c’mon, shut the door and then get creative enough to squeak it open again next time. Unless you’re a Hobbit or a warlock, I’d occasionally like closure in my cinematic experiences.

“Salt” is one film that could have nicely slammed shut with a thunderous boom.

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