“There are three faithful friends,” Ben Franklin wrote, “an old dog, an old wife, and ready money.” Sadly, Ben didn’t have Starbucks back in the rollicking revolutionary times. Too bad for you, old fella. If you had, maybe you could have added a real friend to that list who’d look after that stringy hairdo of yours or distract you from the amitié amoureuse in gay Paris.

In Thousand Oaks on Avenida de Los Amigos . . . oops, I mean de Los Arboles . . . there’s a Starbucks that serves more than triple dark cherry mochas, green tea frappuccinos or kids with no sense of what a nickel is worth. Turns out true friendship and generosity are on the menu right next to Juan Valdez.

In between steamed milk and stuffed chairs, there’s Mary and Kamal and Cliff and Bruce and Terri and Armen and Jason and Jack. Sounds like the bar flies at “Cheers” if you ask me.

Ya gotta get to know these characters who’ve chatted up the joint. In the process of sharing their woes about brooding husbands, wayward wives, tattooed texting kids, flatulent dogs and cranky parents, they fell in love.

With Sam.

Did I mention Sam? Over laughter and lattes, vaulted by buckets of caffeine and caramel syrup somewhere between the moon and Dos Vientos, they got to know their buddy Sam, who scooted in on a regular basis. Literally, because Sam’s linguine legs are no longer in service. Help from modern technology was necessary and we’re not talkin’ Viagra here. We’re talking scooter. Wheels, metal and speed. Freedom.

So. On one unfortunate day, Sam’s scooter pooped out, sort of like his legs. With wheels and legs on the disabled list, Sam went to his trusty insurance company for a replacement vehicle and got the thumbs down. Along with a list of local taxi services and a copy of “Home Alone.”

No longer could he make the trek to Starbucks. He was stranded at home with a leaky Radar Range and receding gums. Life for the friends at Starbucks took a hit because it was Sam who put the Star in the Bucks. He brightened their days more than a triple cappuccino with an extra shot. If that caffeine didn’t make you smile, Sam would give you one of his. There was only one solution to put joy back in their lives: Get Sam some wheels.

One generous soul anteed up the dough, and the rest of the gang pitched in to fundraise for Sam’s scooter. They didn’t cry the blues or lobby Joe Biden for a Scooter Appropriation or file a bogus claim with the welfare office. In a move as old-fashioned as drip coffee, they all gave what they could and set up the Starbucks Sam Scooter Fund.

And those three friends of Ben Franklin’s? Expand the number to add Mary, Kamal, Cliff, Terri, Bruce, Armen, Jason and Jack. And I bet I’m leaving some out, along with all the others who’ve donated to the cause. You know who you are. Great friends for a great guy. Sam the Scooterman.

Stroll over to Avenida de Los Amigos, next to Papa John’s in the Vons shopping center, for some thoroughly meaningless conversation, haute couture coffees and the blessings of friendship.

There’s a big old fat Star shining 24/7 over that Starbucks. And Sam, too. See ya there.

You can reach Elizabeth Kirby at kirby@theacorn.com or visit her blog at http://open.salon.com/ blog/elizabethkirby.