Three separate family law disputes recently led to five deaths in Southern California. Within a week, an Orange County graduate student was been charged with shooting and killing his estranged wife during an argument over custody; a man committed suicide in the parking lot of the Ventura County Government Center moments before his scheduled court hearing in a divorce matter, and according to authorities, a Thousand Oaks father committed apparent murder/suicide when he stabbed his two children to death and took his own life.

Those of us who work in family law are acutely aware of the volatile nature of this area of the law. People do crazy things in stressful times, motivated by the torment of their demons. The psychological impact of divorce can be devastating for some individuals who lose touch with reality and become consumed with hatred, resentment and a drive for revenge.

The unfortunate truth is that some people suffer from various forms of mental illness, and often these psychological frailties become aggravated during a divorce or custody battle. Sometimes the mental illness is at the root of the divorce or custody issue. The medical profession has made progress in the treatment of such disorders, but individuals need to be vigilant in recognizing erratic behavior or signs of desperation, not only in others but in themselves as well. The prevention of domestic violence is particularly important in this difficult economic climate, where nerves are frayed and tensions are running high.

Looking for a silver lining; it’s hoped that the recent incidents will at least raise society’s level of awareness about the resources available to assist individuals who might be headed toward domestic violence. Intimate partner violence is an international problem that cuts across all social levels.

One helpful and noteworthy website for dealing with domestic violence is www. DangerAssessment.org.

According to the site, 3 million to 4 million women in the U.S. are abused each year, and 1,200 to 1,500 are killed by their abusers. The site provides a good list of national resources for domestic violence help, including hotlines, teen dating violence and adult domestic violence resources.

Several risk factors have been associated with increased risk of homicides of women and men in violent relationships. Once these risk factors have been identified a trained individual can make predictions about violent behavior. Jacquelyn C. Cambell, PhD, registered nurse, has developed a danger assessment certification course and a danger assessment questionnaire.

The DangerAssesment.org site provides a free download of the 20 questions used to assess an individual’s situation and a list of types of violent behavior that should be tracked. Victims of abuse should use the scale to mark the level of abuse on a calendar. They should also answer the questions on the danger assessment list.

Individuals seeking help are encouraged to talk to their nurse, advocate or counselor about what the danger assessment means in terms of their situation. If an individual is caught up in a situation of domestic violence they would be wise to educate themselves. Violent behavioral patterns should be reckoned with the utmost seriousness for the safety of individuals and their families.

Mary Ellen Waller is a fam ily law attorney licensed in Cali fornia and New York with local offices in Calabasas.