Recently I attended my son's graduation at Conejo Valley High School in Thousand Oaks. Retiring principal James Martin announced that one (additional) young man was graduating, Raymond Peter Paladino.

While not participating in the ceremony, he wanted to acknowledge Paladino, as he had chosen to serve his country. Off to the side he stood, in full military dress, with quiet dignity and a touch of wistfulness. He acknowledged a few murmurs and hand claps before the event continued.

I went over and congratulated him, wishing him the best in the future. His proud mother took a picture of both of us standing together, explaining how hard he had had to work to graduate due to his serving in the U.S. Marines. I was struck with his patriotism, and self-effacing demeanor.

"But why are you not up there with the others, getting your diploma?" I asked. He answered because he'd been unable to attend the rehearsal the day before.

"Why couldn't you attend?" I asked, unable to believe it.

"I could not get leave," he answered regretfully.

Afterward I told Mr. Martin I was shocked that he was denied the privilege of participating in the ceremony.

"Well, would you have preferred I not mention him at all?" Martin demanded. I answered that I would have preferred to let him graduate with the rest of the class.

"Well, he did not attend the rehearsal, and that is the rule," he answered dismissively, before walking away.

A young man was denied participation in his own graduation, because he couldn't obtain leave for the rehearsal. I wondered what kind of message is being sent to our serving countrymen, when their achievements are dishonored in such a rigid and inflexible structure?

What type of leadership casts aside humanity under the guise of "rules?"

What kind of thanks was extended to one who's defending our nation and was trampled upon?

I urge our school, city and state leaders to honor those graduating while in military service and to appreciate their sacrifices and bestow due recognition to Raymond Paladino, Tara Kadium Thousand Oaks