Dispose of your batteries properly or feel the guilt

Staff writer Nancy Needham explains everything you wanted to know but were afraid to ask about disposing of batteries on pages 10 and 11. We're not talking about batteries for the Gremlin, we mean those little tiny ones that power your keychain flashlight or garage door opener.

The environmentalists are winning the war, you know.

Have you ever felt guilty when you tossed a couple of double A's into the trash can? You wonder about the terrible things that could happen, not the least of which is the "garbage police" barging into your house in the middle of the night, waking the neighbors and causing a commotion. You can see it now: getting handcuffed in front of God and everyone while the cop says, "You're under arrest for illegal disposal of three Evereadys and for ecological terrorism." (Cops like to trump up some extra charges to impress the D.A.)

The anti-pollution folks have been telling us for years that batteries are bad for the environment, so it's easy to get a guilty conscience. You never know. Maybe those two little Duracells that you just threw away will be the straw that breaks the camel's back and permanently destroys the Simi Valley landfill or poisons the water supply for the next thousand years.

While we're feeling guilty about throwing batteries away, we can also feel creepy about the spray paint we discarded back in '99. And what about that can of Right Guard in the '80s?

Maybe it's good that we're starting to feel bad. Maybe those of us with gas guzzling SUVs and minivans deserve to feel a little guilty.

And what about all those nearly indestructible plastic bottles we're drinking water from?

Maybe the thermostat should be set a little higher so we don't use so much electricity running the air conditioner.

Nope, forget it. You've got to draw a line in the sand somewhere. We'll try to be as environmentally sensitive as possible, but we're not going to sit at home and sweat.

At least we'll be cool while we're feeling guilty.