Teens find prom with higher standards more fun
By Nancy Needham nancy@theacorn.com

Spaghetti straps are banned, so don't even think about strapless. Slits are fine, but not past the knee line. Nothing above the knee is allowed to show.

There is a prom where young ladies do not have cleavage. Boys act like gentlemen at all times. Freak dancing and grinding are forbidden. Not only is the music devoid of profanity, the lyrics must not be suggestive and there will be more melody than beat. Some young people might ask, "How do you have a mosh pit with such tunes?" The answer is, "You don't."

On April 5 at Wood Ranch Golf Club in Simi Valley, 300 young people ages 16 to 18 will arrive as couples for what has come to be known as the Mormon Prom. Youth from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints from Thousand Oaks, Simi Valley, Newbury Park and Camarillo will gather for a formal dance with high standards. The prom goes from 7 to 11 p.m.

The idea for the event started about three years ago with Brittney Anderson, then a high school girl and now a Brigham Young University student. She asked local church leaders if there could be a prom for LDS youth, where they could enjoy what has become a right of passage while keeping their church standards, explained Melissa Ryther, Thousand Oaks Stake Young Women's President.

Anderson and other LDS youth had attended their high school proms and left early, feeling disappointed because they weren't comfortable with the sexy dancing, clothes, music and other things that were incompatible with what they'd been taught, Ryther said.

"This prom is a great alternative to the school prom because it provides a safe environment with absolutely no drinking or drugs," said Celeste Bird, a mother.

"A lot of us feel more comfortable in a more modest environment with good music," said Catherine Bird, 16.

"We tried various formal dances, but that just wasn't the same as a high school prom," Ryther said. "So a few years ago we rented out the Moorpark Country Club so we could offer what the high schools were offering."

About 150 attended that year. The next year it was at the Ronald Reagan Library with more than 300 participating. This year it is limited to 300 at the Wood Ranch facility. Many who've heard about the event who are not members of the church have asked if they can attend, Ryther said, and organizers are trying to accommodate them as best they can.

Each LDS girl who wants to attend the prom tells her youth leaders, and they make sure she has a date for the evening, Ryther said. Ticket costs are subsidized by each stake, a geographic group of congregations, with some attendees paying $30 a couple and others paying nothing to go. The cost includes a chicken and pasta buffet dinner.

The girls are encouraged to borrow dresses, make their own or shop wisely. They get together to make boutonnieres for the boys, who can rent a tux or wear suits. Most of them wear suits and ties to church each Sunday, so they're already prepared. And, of course, they buy their dates corsages.

Also in preparation for the prom, church activities include instruction in ballroom dance and in basic manners, to polish up etiquette. Boys are expected to open the doors for the girls.

"We encourage the boys to ask the young women to the prom in a fun way," Ryther said

A group of boys did just that when they were attending a youth activity, recalled parent Jennifer Talbot.

"The boys wrote out, 'Will you go to the prom with me?' using a Scrabble game with the words 'yes' and 'no' on the board," Talbot said. "The girls said 'yes.'"

S e v e n t e e n year-old Leanna Caldwell's date wrote her a story about a fictional girl and boy representing the two of them going to the prom. He asked her to write an ending. She finished the story with the girl accepting the invitation, she said.

Those attending are encouraged to come in groups, and most do. According to church standards, no one dates until they are 16 years old, and then they are supposed to date in groups until they are older and ready to get married. Young members are also told not to frequently date the same individual. Chastity until marriage is another church standard they are all expected to uphold.

This year's prom theme is "Wish Upon a Star." The colors are blue and silver.

Each year Don Henry of Music Memories serves as DJ, and Keenan Haight donates a limousine for the evening that the teens climb inside to have a photo taken. That's just for fun, though, since the teens actually come in regular cars. Photos taken by a professional photographer at the prom are sold for $10 each.