Top 10 reasons Home Depot should come to Westlake Village

10. The Auto Mall needs some hefty competition for light pollution- - the only "stars" we want to see would be in our checkout line buying widgets made in China.

9. Can't wait to put that pesky Do-it Center out of business.

8. Prove to the voters you can put a big box store into a space that isn't zoned for it.

7. It'll be great to get into local politics; financing City Council reelections will make us more diverse and valuable to our stockholders.

6. Fabulous opportunity to continue to overcharge, underwork and generally rip-off the public with our home improvement projects.

5. The increase in traffic gives the citizens a chance to catch up on their cellphone calls while they're in the car for a few extra hours.

4. It's really cool to drive around our ginormous diesel trucks in the middle of the night in the parking lot practicing "drifts."

3. We'll be giving the illegal aliens another place to hang around all day searching for work.

2. Instead of a bowling alley or ice skating rink in the shopping space, Home Depot will be there so you can take the kids along with you for "family" time and enlist them in home projects (think about that backyard barbecue you always wanted them to help you build.)

1. And the No. 1 reason Home Depot should move into Westlake Village:

Because they can. Eugene Tkachenko Westlake Village