Family Matters

What ever happened to big family gatherings? It seems that these days extended family only comes together for weddings and funerals.

Even my family, which is Ital- ian and holds family in very high regard, doesn't gather anymore.

Growing up I remember get- ting together with much of my extended family on every holi- day, birthday, baptism, commun- ion, confirmation, etc. My elders must have stopped having fam- ily gatherings because the events became too much of a hassle.

Finding a time to meet might've been a problem because the host of the gathering had to work around so many schedules. And then, once the family was assembled, everyone had to de- cide what to do, what to watch on TV and who was going to help clean the dishes.

Gatherings might've also died out in my family because

Italian people in one group can sometimes be dangerous. Italian people are very, very passionate. And when passionate people gather, passionate opinions can ignite passionate arguments.

I've seen fiery feuds between my father's side of the family and my mother's side of the family regarding who had the better meat sauce recipe. And there was always someone who said, "It's not called sauce, it's called gravy," or, "It's not called pasta, it's called macaroni." That set off several other debates.

I've witnessed arguments that became louder than the space shuttle's liftoff and arguments that lasted longer than the shuttle mission. Following some feuds would be "silence" standoffs. This person wouldn't talk to that one, and that person wouldn't talk to another one. Some of these grudges exist to this day.

Regardless of past family gathering troubles, I thought it would be fun to bring much of my family together on a recent weekend to visit this year's Feast of San Gennaro in Hollywood. The annual feast is a celebration of the patron saint of Naples, Italy, who worked tirelessly to help people in need.

For those who saw "The God- father Part II," you'll remember the Feast of San Gennaro that took place on a New York street in the Robert De Niro sequences.

Once my family decided to meet at the Feast of San Gennaro, the drama began.

When were we going to meet?

When we arrived, what were we going to do first, second and third? And if that wasn't enough, some members got into argu- ments about the rules of bocce ball and whether Lamborghinis are better automobiles than Ferraris. Other festival guests who overheard the arguments added their comments.

I didn't realize there were so many people of Italian descent in the Los Angeles area. They all showed up at the feast. And since Italian people are proud of their heritage and always happy to be with other Italian people, many of them felt comfortable joining my family's arguments, and they later joined my family activities.

My family shared a sausage and peppers sandwich lunch with another family simply because we all got hungry while we quar- reled.

Complete strangers asked to take pictures with my family just because my family came from the same part of Sicily as their family. (The Neapolitans had to sit at another table.) A vendor offered me a free

cannoli because I agreed that Frank Sinatra was a better singer than Dean Martin. The Dean Martin fans in my family had a hard time getting service.

At the end of the feast, I don't know if the hassles outweighed the good times. But I can prom- ise you that my family will meet again at next year's event. I can't wait.

E-mail Michael Picarella at pic@theacorn.com. Nice com- ments only. The author is very fragile.