Q: "I don't know what to do with the ashes of my grandparents. They are in individual containers in my home. What can I do with them?"

A: Just as a burial site is chosen when funeral arrangements are made, it makes good sense to decide how cremated remains will be dealt with when planning the cremation. When put off or avoided, it can become a burdensome task for anyone in possession of the cremated remains.

While you make reference to "ashes," cremated remains are not ashes but are particles of the skeletal framework of the body. The cremation process includes "processing" the skeletal framework after the cremation in which the bones are reduced into small particles, rendering the bones unidentifiable and of a granular consistency.

Cremated remains represent the body of a person, and there are many ways to deal with them in a respectful manner.

+You can continue to hold them; however, in the event something happens to you, another person might not know what is in the container. It is important to label the urn with the name of the decedent and attach the certificate of cremation and/ or permit for disposition (issued at the time of the cremation) to the urn.

+If you have other family members, discuss this situation with them. Another family member may wish to keep them or place them in a special location.

+If other family members who've died happen to be buried in a grave, it may be possible to bury the cremated remains in the same grave. You may also bury them in a separate grave or place them in a crypt or in a columbarium, which is a building that holds cremated remains. Check with the cemetery or funeral home for details.

+Cremated remains can be fashioned into artistic pieces. I have seen cremated remains mixed into concrete and then formed into a birdbath, waterfall, fountain or sitting bench. They can be a part of paperweights, vases, pottery, lamp bases or sculpturing. Many funeral homes make available special jewelry into which a part of the cremated remains can be placed.

+Some cemeteries have sections of land devoted to memorializing cremated remains. They are often referred to as "nature gardens" or "cremation gardens." These areas may contain water features, walking paths, sitting areas, flora and fauna, wildlife and even music. There are many inexpensive ways to memorialize the decedent, such as placing cremated remains in a granite book, inside decorative walls, along side pathways and walkways or under a favorite tree or shrub.

+Cremated remains may also be scattered. Caution should be exercised as scattering makes the remains unrecoverable. From personal experience, I know of people who've come to regret that all of the cremated remains were scattered and no permanent site was established for visiting or bringing a flower.

In general, cremated remains can be scattered where no local prohibition exists and they must be scattered outside the container. Written permission must be obtained for scattering remains in a public place. Scattering can also take place at sea and in most cemeteries.

In most instances, the final disposition must be recorded with the registrar of births and deaths in the county where disposition occurs. Your local funeral home can assist you in arranging disposition and any recording requirements.

+Cremated remains can also be apportioned and given to several people or placed/scattered in multiple locations. Small individual urns are available for this purpose.

There are endless ways to memorialize the cremated remains of a loved one. Some persons have even inserted a portion of the cremated remains into small capsules aboard a rocket ship, consigning them to orbit the earth and then be vaporized upon reentry.

Kubasak, a licensed funeral director, embalmer and certified crematory operator, is a consultant and lectures throughout the country. He can be reached by calling (702) 345-3212 or via email at mike@kubasak.com.