Q: “What is an obituary and why do we have them? Is an obituary required when a person dies?”

A: In an earlier age, the death of a person in a village was commonly announced by the tolling of a bell, hence the title of John Donne’s sermon “For Whom the Bell Tolls.” In most villages, the bell began tolling even before the death occurred to alert neighbors to start preparations for the funeral. With the advent of weekly and daily newspapers, the growth of villages into cities and the rise in literacy, the obituary has become the most common method of informing people that a death has occurred.

At first, newspapers only published obituaries for notable persons. Today, obituaries are published for almost all deaths. Some newspapers offer assistance in developing obituaries, but they are commonly done by funeral homes as a service. Funeral homes also arrange for the obituary to appear in local and out-of-town newspapers.

There is no requirement to publish an obituary, and an obituary is not considered a legal notice. Some newspapers publish obituaries without charge, but the increasing cost of printing and distribution is causing many papers to now charge a fee.

The family is the usual source of information for the obituary, and unless the person is a notable figure, the information is not usually checked for accuracy. Many newspapers and funeral homes offer updated obituary notices on their websites. This allows people around the world to come together to express condolences or to share a story or other meaningful memory about the deceased.

An obituary notice is a type of notification and form of identification that contains a brief accounting of a person’s life and alerts people to the time and place of funeral or memorial services and information about making memorial donations in honor of the deceased. Obituaries are also useful in updating family history and providing details such as names of parents, spouses, children, and others. The word “obituary” comes from the Latin obitus, which means “in passing.” Contemporary obituaries usually include:

•An announcement of the death including date, location and time

•Biographical information, accomplishments, memberships, hobbies

•A listing of immediate relatives

•Ceremony information and public events

•Preferences for memorial donations •Name of the funeral home handling the arrangements

The importance of an obituary can be seen in one case where a woman decided not to develop an obituary for her recently deceased husband. A friend from a nearby city who didn’t know of the husband’s death came unannounced and rang the doorbell. The new widow came to the door and burst into tears

asking, “When will this end?”

The surprised visitor asked, “When will what end?” She was told of the death of the husband and how, for weeks following the death, people would call or come to the door to express condolences. The widow learned too late that if she had published an obituary, everyone would have known of the death and she would not have to explain what had happened over and over again.

Kubasak is a licensed funeral director and former owner of a funeral home. He is now a consultant and lectures and conducts seminars throughout the country. He can be reached by calling (702) 345-3212 or by e-mail at: Mike@kubasak.com.