Q: At some recent funerals I’ve noticed that the music is really different from that of years ago. What is funeral music and what is appropriate?”

A: All over the world, one common element of practically all funerals is music. Funerals are generally considered to be sad events. Music can reflect the solemnity of the event and provide a suitable backdrop before and during the service. Irrespective of the decedent’s belief, ethnicity or lifestyle, the playing of music should be part of a funeral.

When music is absent from a funeral or life celebration, it is noticeably absent; when it is a part of one’s culture, it is unthinkable to leave it out. Music has universal appeal. It speaks to all people without the need for translation and transcends barriers of language, culture, politics and religion.

In my career, I have heard a wide range of music during funerals under different circumstances. A member of a barbershop quartet was “serenaded” by his fellow singers at the gravesite; a band played Dixieland music as a lover of Dixieland Jazz was carried to his grave. Similarly, Chinese funeral customs for notable persons include a traditional drum and bugle corps marching down the street and preceding the body of the deceased and the funeral procession.

A college marching band performed in the parking lot of the funeral home for one of their members who died unexpectedly; an avid fisherman constructed his own casket and left instructions that his funeral music be played by his two favorite instruments: a trombone and a tuba.

Music played or sung at funerals today can vary substantially from that of years ago. The old Catholic Mass began on a sad note and the music was mournful. Today, the music is intended to send a message of hope, not despair. Even the color of the vestments worn by the priest is white, not black. To have its effect, music need not be elaborate or involved. Many funerals still include traditional components such as choirs, harpists, bagpipers and pianists and even recorded music. Often the music includes the decedent’s favorite songs, played by family members or sung in unison by everyone attending the funeral.

Music at funerals makes sense for a number of reasons:

•Music helps to synchronize the feelings and activities of all who attend, uniting everyone in a common expression of support to the bereaved family.

•For those of faith, music provides hope for salvation for the living and for the dead. Popular songs like “Just a Closer Walk With Thee” and “Amazing Grace” can offer strength and help us deal with the pain of loss.

•Music can help us deal with our own mortality. It can remind us of our sense of awe about life and death and the future. It can also help us from feeling overwhelmed by thoughts of death.

•In some cultures, music is seen as a powerful instrument to ward off evil spirits.

Unless the bereaved family is musically inclined, familiar with musicians or experienced in funeral planning, arranging for funeral music can sometimes feel overwhelming. All funeral directors know about the importance of music in farewell ceremonies and will assist client families in arranging appropriate music, even when the request may be unusual. Your funeral director can provide a list of musicians available to play at funerals and memorial ceremonies and even make suggestions for the right music for the event.

Whether the music at a funeral is a monotone chant sung by a Buddhist monk or a Gregorian chant sung by a Catholic priest, a mournful dirge played on an organ, or contemporary folk-popcountry western played by a group that causes people to march, sing or dance, music helps evoke many emotions. It can cause tears of sadness, joy and hope and can be used as a mechanism in the healing of the mind, the body and the spirit.

Kubasak is a licensed funeralcremation provider, embalmer and former owner of a funeral home. He is a consultant and lectures throughout the country. He may be reached by calling (702) 345-3212 or via e-mail at Mkubasak@aol.com.