Q: Upon my death, I am leaving instructions to have my body cremated. I do not know what instruction to leave as to what to do with the ashes. Can you offer some advice?

A: The modern method of cremation is a relatively clean process utilizing heat and flame to reduce the body to its elemental substances in a short period of time. The “ashes” you refer to are not really ashes but the skeletal framework that, after cremation, has been mechanically reduced to smaller skeletal particles. They are called cremated human remains and are white to gray to black in color. Unlike the body, cremated remains do not decay and can be disposed of at practically anytime and in many ways.

Not all methods of disposal, however, may be legal in your area. I suggest that you call or visit your local funeral director and obtain information as to legalities in your area. Your funeral director is also a good resource as to how the cremated human remains can be disposed of. Here are some ideas for you to consider:

•Cremated remains can be held by your next of kin or by a person designated by you. Discuss this with them ahead of time and obtain their consent. The cremated body is usually contained in an urn. Small urns, called keepsake urns, are used when multiple people hold a portion of the cremated human remains. Urns are constructed from bronze, marble, glass, porcelain, wood and plastic and come in various shapes.

•If another family member is buried in a grave in a cemetery, it is often possible to have cremated remains buried in the same grave with the approval of the surviving family. Your local funeral director and cemetery will assist you with these arrangements. •Cremated remains may be placed in a niche, which is a small space in a building called a columbarium or in a crypt inside a mausoleum. Some niche spaces may have a glass front allowing viewers to see the urn, and other niches are located within block walls inside a cemetery. •Some cemeteries have developed special sections of land called Nature Gardens or Cremation Gardens to memorialize only cremated remains. These areas resemble parks or nature areas and contain water features, walking paths, sitting areas, flora and fauna indigenous to the area, bird and wildlife sanctuaries and more. Cremated remains can be placed into granite rocks or tablets, inside a boulder under a waterfall, under a favorite tree or flowering plant, or alongside a pathway. The name of the deceased can be engraved on a boulder, a bench or under a tree. •Cremated remains can be placed into artistically created urns or even fashioned into art pieces themselves. I’ve seen cremated remains mixed into concrete and then formed into a birdbath, fountain or bench; placed into a paperweight; mixed into pottery for a vase or lamp base. Many funeral homes make available pieces of jewelry such as rings, pendants and necklaces, designed to hold a portion of the cremated remains.

•Cremated remains may also be scattered where permitted by law in your state. However, exercise caution as scattering makes the remains unrecoverable. As an example, I was making arrangements with the husband and the daughter to cremate the wife and mother. The husband wanted the cremated remains scattered at sea. Hearing this, the daughter pleaded with her father, “Please don’t scatter her. I want her in a place where I can talk to her, visit her and bring her a flower.” In general, cremated remains may be scattered where no local prohibition exists and with the provision that the cremated remains are not distinguishable to the public.

These are just some ways that you can memorialize cremated remains. If you have family members, I strongly urge you to discuss your plans with them. Before making a final decision, ask your family what is important to them. Today, only one’s lack of creativity prevents memorializing cremated remains in a personal way.

Kubasak is a licensed funeral director and former owner of a funeral home. He writes, lectures and consults throughout the country. He may be reached by calling (702) 345-3212 or via email at Mkubasak@aol.com.