I was going to skip this one be

cause an update of a ’60s TV sitcom

made about as much sense as an

other comic book action-hero flick.

But I was taken in by the film’s

buzz: What if a real-life witch was

inadvertently cast in the Elizabeth

Montgomery role of a TV remake

of the classic ’60s series? What type

of dark and twisted Hollywood

spoof might evolve?

Thus, “Bewitched” began for me with hopeful potential. Director Nora Ephron (“Sleepless in Seattle”) and producer Penny Marshall (“Big”) had the clout to strip away the tacky ’60s varnish and give us something wonderfully imaginative or—my own personal preference—a foreboding Hollywood parable about the common man’s (or witch’s) rage against the machine.

Barring that, how about a magically inventive love story?

Unfortunately, “Bewitched” is none of the above. It is little more than an insipid and incoherent romcom, trapped in its own TV Land time warp. Even as a TV movie, it wouldn’t have held my interest, but at $10 a pop—well, my advice is to wait for the rerun.

The gist is this: Isabel Bigelow (Nicole Kidman) is a witch who moves to the Valley to fall in love with a mortal and live a normal life. Samantha, it seems, was a role model for a whole fresh-faced generation.

Jack Wyatt (Will Ferrell) is a has-been film actor whose last resort of a career move is to reprise the role of Darrin in a television remake of the 1964-72 TV series. An egotistical camera hog, Jack wants to play against a complete unknown (and any likeness in that regard to Tom Cruise is interesting, hmmm?). Jack spies Isabel in a bookstore, by happenstance wiggling her nose (remember Samantha’s magic twitch?)—and chooses her as his co-star on the spot. In one (the one) clever scene, in an im

promptu script reading, the produc

ers and writers marvel at how eas

ily the novice Isabel captures the “feel” of witchdom. And so she’s hired.

The remainder of the film is Isabel falling in and out of love with the loutish Wyatt (i.e., the loutish Ferrell). The plot from here is forced, piecemeal and only sporadically funny, focusing on Isabel’s incomprehensible attraction to her co-star. As for her unearthly powers, Isabel’s ace-in-thehole spell is to “rewind” time (that would be a scene or two thrown in reverse, in a special effects tour de force). The spell gives her a chance to “redo” her lovelorn mistakes of the past.

Co-stars Shirley McLaine and Michael Caine are wasted in this one and, frankly, Will Ferrell doesn’t do it for me either. (Owen Wilson as Darrin? That might have been fun.) I’m not a fan of Ferrell’s in the same way I wasn’t a fan of Adam Sandler until “50 First Dates” and “Spanglish” or of Jim Carrey’s until “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.” So there is hope. But pratfall comedians trying to make it as romantic leads is as silly as rock ’n’ rollers trying to make it as romantic leads. (Think Elvis.) Ferrell can’t get away from the SNL-sketch routine madness, and for me that’s not nearly worth the price of admission.

Another sticking point in my mind is: why “Bewitched” at all? Simply because of name recognition? The original series came along (as did “I Dream of Jeannie”) at a time when women were moving out of the social shadows of a maledominated society. TV’s gentle elbowing not only made the transition more agreeable, I suspect it made it possible. Recent films like “The Stepford Wives” and “Alfie”— and now “Bewitched”—miss that point entirely. There’s new, significant social chaos. Go chase after today’s problems instead of rehash

ing the socially dead ones.

I’m not a Nicole Kidman fan

either, although I’ll admit she’s the

film’s one bright spot. I think there’s

a hint of comedic talent there that

director Ephron didn’t utilize.

Kidman has proven she can do se

rious acting, but what’s the old ad

age about death being easy, com

edy being hard? I think the actress

could be great in the right comedic

role.

In a nutshell: Unless you’re a diehard “Bewitched” fan (with no sense of plot structure and comedic timing), or unless you’re under 12, I’d skip this one. There just isn’t the continuity or the fun to make it worthwhile.

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