"Sahara"

Directed by: Breck Eisner
Starring: Matthew McConaughey, Penelope Cruz, Steve Zahn, Lambert Wilson and William H. Macy
Rated: PG-13 (for mostly bloodless action violence)
Running time: 125 minutes
Best suited for: swashbuckler fans wearied by endless Indiana Jones’ reruns

Least suited for: those who have to wonder why 100 machine-gun-blazing extras can’t, by chance, actually hit a good guy. Or, come to think of it, for those who think a good plot is remotely important in Hollywood.

Acorn’s Rating Guide:

3.5 acorns

Matthew McConaughey has finally found his niche in Hollywood. It is in the persona of Dirk Pitt, author Clive Cussler’s tequila-swigging, cigar-chomping, bon vivant seafaring adventurer. Why someone decided to launch the exploits of a nautical explorer in a movie called "Sahara" is just one of many bizarre and unlikely twists.

An utterly unbelievable flick, you ask? Yes. Now that you’ve been forewarned, go buy some popcorn and get over yourself—because not since Indiana Jones outran a maze of death in "Raiders of the Lost Ark" has an X-chromosome-driven action/adventure been this much fun. Okay, Brendon Fraser came close with a mummy or two, but like Indiana Jones, Dirk Pitt relies less on special effects than on sheer personality and a penchant for getting himself into and out of trouble at maximum velocity. And not unlike the Indiana Jones’ adventures, "Sahara" is an ultimate B-movie homage. Of course it’s unbelievable. Of course the plot meanders from the ridiculous to the sublime. Of course Dirk Pitt has perfect teeth, a perfect smile, speaks seven languages and can out-knife-fight the locals without breaking a sweat.

Pitt’s traveled to Africa, obsessively hunting down a Civil War-era ironclad that mysteriously disappeared from Richmond carrying Confederate gold. (The Sahara desert? Well, why not? That’s the first place I’d look too.)

The plot’s holes are as numerous as grains of sand in the—well, you know. The coincidence factor is high. Dirk Pitt’s intrepid little band has an annoying habit of getting from Point A to Point B without much effort. And, after marauding hoards have expended 10,000 rounds of ammunition (because I counted) in Pitt’s direction, there isn’t even a semblance of a flesh wound to be found. If you haven’t suspended your disbelief by now, "Sahara" isn’t going to be your cup of tea.

On the plus side, there’s Penelope Cruz. She plays Eva Rojas, a World Health Organization doctor who, while tracking down a nasty plague, a potential pandemic, chances to cross Pitt’s path. And there’s Steve Zahn, who plays Al Giordino, Dirk Pitt’s lifelong buddy, co-conspirator and sidekick. This is Zahn’s forte as well—playing a quick-witted drinking buddy who’s not above picking up the tab or dismantling a bomb while Pitt races off to rescue the girl. Which he does now and then, on that bumpy road to saving the world from a bout of global poisoning.

Oh, and did I mention Penelope Cruz?

What makes "Sahara" tick a notch or two above those other feeble attempts to clone the Indiana Jones panache is the likeability quotient at play. McConaughey has the look, the bod and, according to my wife, that je ne sais quoi. (She actually used that phrase. I asked her if she’d happened to notice Penelope Cruz.)

There are also plenty of sweeping vistas, vast deserts and teaming riverbanks, as director Brett Eisner allows the African wilderness to play an important role here. "Sahara" wasn’t shot on some studio backlot or with actors playing against an emotionless bluescreen—and, frankly, the ambiance helps the film considerably. The characters are kept in almost constant motion, hunting down clues or running for their lives (because there’s an evil warlord who wants them all dead).