Space Aliens land in T.O.

'TAKE US TO YOUR MAYOR'-These new residents of Thousand Oaks heard there had been excessive political bickering lately inside city hall and are calling for a change in government. State Sen. Tom McClintock said the aliens should immediately register as Republicans. "Then we'll talk," the senator said.

City council held hostage

By Michael Picarella

pic@theacorn.com

Last night at approximately 9:30 p.m., police began chasing what seemed to be several speeding motorists traveling south on Thousand Oaks Boulevard until, after three blocks of the pursuit, the foreign vessels suddenly lifted off the ground and disappeared into the night sky. Authorities later declared the incident an alien encounter.

But by midnight, the extraterrestrials were back and had begun taking over Thousand Oaks City Hall, law enforcement officials said. Roy Neary, president of the Conejo Valley Third Kind Club, released a message to the East County Sheriff’s Station that the invasion was the result of his request.

"For months I’ve been pleading with the Thousand Oaks City Council to agendize the subject of alien leadership here in the Conejo Valley," Neary said. "The council just ignored me. I wasn’t going to be overlooked forever. I contacted the extraterrestrials through an online chat room and told them to come down and take over. Before I could finish my box of Twinkies, they were here."

Juvenile aliens who accompanied the mother ship to Earth wreaked havoc throughout the night. Other incidents were reported throughout the Southland.

"We stopped and cited one of the freaks who was on a joy ride and cited it for flying under the influence," said Howard Bujhink of the United States Thing Patrol.

Three of the alien crafts were seen roaming Newbury Park neighborhoods, and in Dos Vientos, an unidentified E.T. committed identity theft when he morphed into a human form and tried to pass himself off as the victim.

According to high frequency messages received at city hall and at the sheriff’s station, the main purpose of the invasion is take over the city council and put an end to the frequent councilmember bickering that has plagued the local government in recent weeks.

According to the alien press release, a new government is being formed.

"On Planet Thousand Oaks, we’ve seen nothing but arguing among your leader and the members of his council," the statement said. "We plan to finish all of our meetings in less than eight hours, put an end to the stupid name-calling and create happy, smiley faces once again with our new regime."

The first council meeting of the third kind will be at 7:30 p.m. next Wednesday at city hall. An agenda hasn’t been released yet.

None of the Thousand Oaks City Council members were available for comment. Sources believe they were abducted by the aliens and held for ransom. Nobody offered to pay the ransom.

Extraterrestrial leadership also has taken over all dining and entertainment venues in town, according to sources.

The Thousand Oaks Civic Arts Plaza is to showcase two new theatrical performances next month, including "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" and "Mars Attacks: The Musical."

The costumes in both productions are to supposed to be quite realistic, critics are saying.

T.O. resident Spoon River, owner of the Twilight Cafe on Hillcrest, caught a glimpse of one of his waiters reading a book that was called, "To Serve Man."

River later discovered that the text actually contained alien cooking recipes. The dinner specialty last night at the restaurant was Human Parmesan and People Pound Cake.

The alien leader, MP3-HUEY1, spoke briefly with The Thousand Oaks Acorn regarding last night’s invasion of the city. The E.T. said "April Fools" and flew away.